Hand Holding

Rohan started big school this year,  I noticed that as the first week turned to the second week of school that he was resisting holding my hand.

This week I asked him if I could please hold his hand and he told me that he does not want to.  We carried on walking to the car and then he blurted out asking me why I did not even ask him why he does not want to hold my hand.  I explained that I had not asked, because it is alright that he does not want to, it is his hand.  He was not impressed that I had let him off so easy and he wanted to tell me why he was resisting hand holding.  He proceeded to tell me that he feels like a baby, when I ask him.  A beautiful little conversation came out of it, I got to talk about adoption, belonging, loving holding his hand because we belong together.  I hold his hand because I love him and I love holding his hand.  When we arrived at our next appointment, he got out the car and gave me his hand and he has been giving it to me to hold the rest of the week, reminding me that we hold hands because we belong together.

This made me think back to my honeymoon.  I gave Holger such a hard time in the beginning, we hiked a lot on that trip.  I was so irritated because he wanted to hold my hand all the time.  I just did not get it at first.  It took a while for me to learn that I may not have needed it, but my hubby needed it.  Oh how I have grown, I am quicker to reach out and hold hands as we get older.  I love the feel of his hand in mine.

Watching my in-laws in photos family sent, they held hands right up until he went to hospital last week, every time they went out, they showed the world they belonged together and the love was sweet.  I have so many pictures of them walking hand in hand over my 31 years of knowing them. To think that this couple who held hands over sixty years have just missed this anniversary by my father-in-laws death early hours of last Sunday morning.  They would have been married 60 years in June.

I am sad to not witness in this world anymore these two amazing people holding hands, I will continue to try and hold hands with all my children if they let me and dear Holger let's follow your parent's example and hold hands to the very end.

Rest in Peace Papa!  We sure are going to miss your amazing display of love and belonging with those big hands.