Last week I shared a photo of my manual that I was going to use to do training on a 'Foundation Of Counselling School' in Muizenberg. A friend of mine saw the photo on Instagram, she in boxed me and asked me how I could be doing this after being mugged there last year. True I thought I was mugged there in May last year and it was probably the most scary thing I have ever been through in my adult life. The knives made it worse and the fact that I lost bladder control. For a woman who has walked so hard in my life to look after boundary lines and making wise choices about safety, this was an experience I had hoped I would never have?
So, why could I go there and work again and then going again in May and June... and I am sure more than this as the year goes on.
What has really been very helpful in my life has been the adoption journey. I have had to learn to grieve well. I have had to learn to ride the waves of strong emotion and get support when I need it. Coming to terms with my motherhood journey thrown under a pressure to reveal so many cracks in me has been the scariest story of my life. It was not only about motherhood, but about my work, quite simply my whole way of being.
I truly believe that God led me to this walk to get to my child hood memories and the impact that they have had on my adult life. It was only when I really got help that HELPED, I was able to undo the pain and control, slowly letting in love to the darkest part of my story.
Today, I just want to share the books that helped me... besides the Bible!
Basil van der Kolk "The Body Keeps the Score"
All of Brene Brown's books, especially this last one she has written.
'When Narcissism comes to Church' by Chuck De Groat!
"Boundaries" By Clouds and Townsend... over and over and over again.
Aundi Kolber her two books were like the set work books I needed while working through some difficult stuff. I feel like when I was reading "Try Softer" I needed that book to walk through Covid Journey. Reading her latest book could not have come at a better time in my life.
Following my daughter on Instagram The Inspired Project. She inspires me!
I am grateful for all the experiences of 2023 so far. I have had an opportunity to share my learning in a few different places. I have seen that it is true that the song I sang in brokeness as a child trusting that "God makes ALL things beautiful in HIS time"
I am cracked, I am fragile, I am fierce and because of who I belong to, I am stronger than I have ever been.
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