The God Who Sees

 I find myself reflecting on a year, as one year ago today Holger and I gave our “Yes to God” in response to a prayer prayed by Luhlumo our daughter.  She prayed that God would give us food to feed the hungry.  What we had in our hands was an organisation with no money in it, but the container to be able to raise money to respond.

We put out the ask and the story of that is told in a previous blog.  When I wrote that last blog it was coming from a genuine place of awe and gratitude.

I wrote that blog during the crazy in last year.  A month into being answer to the prayer we found ourselves in a midst of deep criticism from some of our peers for choosing to do soup kitchens.  I am not going to unpack here what was being said and how brutal it was but believe me when I say it was!

I sought out a life coach in this time and recognised that my response to the criticism was my issue and the fact that I was unable to not let it get to me was my responsibility to address.  I have put a post on Facebook a few months ago about why this was a life changing decision.

However, in this blog today I want to share a song that carried me The God Who Sees.  On one of the darkest days and in one of the darkest weeks I heard this song for the first time, the groan that came out of my mouth was ‘God do you see me?’ and 'Do you see the kitchens?'... as one of the attacks was a threat to close down each of the 'Community Kitchens'.  The criticism was brutal and my reaction to it was bad.  I mean I got sick a lot last year.  I kept asking God to harden my heart.  I asked him to help me not care.  Then the rumours started taking on a life of their own in community and you know the old English proverb; “Where there is smoke there is fire!” … well, that is not always true, brutal lies are told about people that are just that, brutal lies!

The miracles of last year besides the pots staying full, was that we got to go to our daughter’s wedding during a brief break in the travel ban on South Africans going to Germany being lifted and we saw a long-term dream coming true when we were able to buy our own home.  This raised a lot of anxiety in me as one of the lies was that Holger and I were stealing the money of the poor to do this.  The saddest and hardest part about lies are they overpower the incredible truth and that was that incredible miracles had happened for us.

You see in the mix up of mess that went with last year my super sensitive personality reaction to it overshadowed my enjoyment at the time of amazing miracles that had happened and the amazing support that emerged in this season.  The counter movement to the lies was a classic beautiful move and I still stand amazed.  All I can say in my reflection a year into feeding thousands with the help of many sponsors that we serve a God who sees us all and not only does He see, but He also moves on our behalf…  today, I feel like I can tell my story and celebrate the incredible miracles.