From a previous blog you may know that my sister Vivienne, has been bedridden with stage 4 cancer for a while now. In the last six weeks there have been moments of thinking the time of death is now... this made it hard for me to go to Europe, but she told me to go...
Then I came home to my next big task which was the third annual Camp Africa roll out and that meant a pre-camp with leaders and then a week later a week long camp with sixty children from all over our peninsula. Again I was told to go...
At the end of both of these big things I breathed a deep sigh of relief that my sister was still alive and she did not die while I was responsible to hold growing spaces for others.
On Sunday, I got to fly... I can not begin to explain the relief in my heart that I was getting to see her! I was shocked to see her. I saw her a year ago last... cancer is aggressive and I am still amazed about how brutal it is on the body.
I never expected to have as many beautiful conversations with her as I did. I tried to explain to my siblings all over the world why it is hard to say where she is at on this journey... for hours she is frail and weak and living defying all odds and then for an hour or so she is upright, full of life and knowing exactly what she wants. I can not even begin to unpack for myself what I got to experience with her in the last 3 days.
The paradox...
The struggle with the bi-polar nature of this all...
Yesterday, I said goodbye to get home to my family who have CLEARLY not had enough of me in the last few weeks, to find this gift... it describes it all so beautifully. Beauty in the midst of a shattered place... look at the details of the holder of the plant!
I am shattered but there is so much to thankful for!
Then I came home to my next big task which was the third annual Camp Africa roll out and that meant a pre-camp with leaders and then a week later a week long camp with sixty children from all over our peninsula. Again I was told to go...
At the end of both of these big things I breathed a deep sigh of relief that my sister was still alive and she did not die while I was responsible to hold growing spaces for others.
On Sunday, I got to fly... I can not begin to explain the relief in my heart that I was getting to see her! I was shocked to see her. I saw her a year ago last... cancer is aggressive and I am still amazed about how brutal it is on the body.
The paradox...
The struggle with the bi-polar nature of this all...
Yesterday, I said goodbye to get home to my family who have CLEARLY not had enough of me in the last few weeks, to find this gift... it describes it all so beautifully. Beauty in the midst of a shattered place... look at the details of the holder of the plant!
I am shattered but there is so much to thankful for!
Comments
Post a Comment