A Blossoming Sage

I am not saying I am a sage yet, but I think there are a few indicators that I may just be heading in that direction.  That may sound proud or arrogant, but first let me unpack how I have come to this conclusion.

When I chose to study counselling, although in a more honest place I admit for all the wrong reasons… I probably should have gone straight to see a counsellor myself.  The choice of studying with Philippi Trust was the best at the time as there is no way to not look at yourself and your issues if you want to be sent out as a counsellor by the organisation. 

I could not sit with pain when I started counselling, not mine or yours...

My first huge task in becoming a “blossoming” sage, was to take an honest look at my childhood.  I had to take off my lenses that had helped me adapt as a ‘people pleasing child’ and stop pretending that it was all ok!  I had to mourn the losses and admit that some things were just too hard for a child to handle and of course facing honestly that I was that child.  I had to do it, because it was leaking into my marriage and on to my role as a mother.

The more healed up I got, I expected my adult life to be bliss as after all I had dealt with the trauma from the past and I understood how it was impacting me and how I needed to behave today!  I grew much, and freedom looked good on me!

But, in the last decade I feel like I have been assaulted by loss and grief… I say assaulted as I would rather not have had to face any of it or any more loss ever again.  A decade of death and loss… and standing now in the reality of a very devastating loss on my horizon. I need to shout out that I do not like death!  I do not like pain! 

However, in the last three years I have come to recognise a shift in what I do…. I find myself drawn to help people facing loss, change and grief.  I feel at home in people’s brokenness with a great deal of hope… I find I can sit in a person’s darkest hour and listen and accept and simply be…not fix, not preach…

I really believe there are tasks of grief and remembering and reworking the story with truth is what I am called to do.  I am growing in skill!

I teach about trauma, grief and loss.  I advocate about why the world should stop child abuse…

I am currently on a journey with four little children whose lives will not be dominated by their trauma story or the pain.  We have hope and we know there is healing, and I love the freedom that is experienced when the pain lifts.

I am blossoming and my dream is to continue to help others blossom…

Death where is your sting?