You cannot promise FOREVER!

It has been a crazy few weeks and I am feeling quite tired today and a bit emotional.  On Sunday, my kids celebrated me… it was very special.  So much changed between Mother’s Day last year and this one… I really had no idea that I would have four more little angels in my life back then.

Today I would like to share one of the hardest things about this journey so far. 

I thought that when Holger and I had signed up for this "job" that we had been very clear about wanting to be a FOREVER family for the children we will take into our home.  What this meant was that the children in our care would have no chance of reunification with their families.  We would be their forever family.

Turns out that with our children’s Act and the law around children and foster care that there is a mandatory two-year period where parents are appealed to take responsibility and grow and do all they need to do to get their kids back… biological parents seem to decide after court that this is a great idea!

This is a good law and I think it is a wonderful idea when there are circumstances that were temporary and parents need their children in safety care till they get back on their feet… but why is there no loop hole in the law for children who have been abused at the hands of those who were called to love them? 

The court date when we officially met the parents and found out the reality of how this works was a game plan change that we had not been prepared for…

Phone calls from the parents added a whole new level of confusion in the home.  All we had built up in the first few weeks had seemingly been undone.  Our little family now had so much to process and the things coming out of the children’s mouths after they spoke to their parents was heart wrenching.  My two biological children were badly thrown by it all.

We have got support for our emotional shock and we are learning to take it all in and re-look at how we work with both these children and their families.  This would not have been such a shock if we knew that is what was coming…and signed up for it!

Tomorrow, we go to court for the littlest girl in our care.  I heard today that her mom cannot be found… and as a result the little one does not have to come with...the feeling of abandonment brought me to tears today!  We go sign some papers tomorrow and listen to the judge read us our rights again… and how we need to work with her mother.  The usual reunification stuff that comes in the first two years.

I know now that I may not have the children for their whole childhood and cannot guarantee that they will be here in our home until University or whatever and beyond...or on their path to whatever else they want to do in adulthood… but I will love them like they will be!  Holger and I have made a choice to love them wholeheartedly, however long they are with us and let them know this will always be their second home if they have to go home.

Reality is there is not really an option of fostering to adopt… if you want to adopt... Adopt!