The worst time...might just be the best time!

In a blog, earlier in the week I mentioned that I was facilitating training for the whole week.  I have heard myself saying especially earlier in the week that the timing of this was bad.  Just four short days after getting the girls moved in I had to leave them and go to work.

As the week continued and the challenges presented themselves in their fair share all I had was to keep believing the “bad time” paradigm.

The training week was an incredible experience for the organisation we were training.  There were outcomes we expected as we have come to accept that they are part of the process, but it became obvious very soon that this was God’s appointed time for this team and for me… 

Resilient Kids training is a week long experiential training that helps care givers get some practical ideas on how to help themselves and the children around them address their psycho-social needs.  If I had ever presented the course with my psycho-social needs glaring and the glaring needs of the children I parent it was this week.

Take a girl child to work day

But…

As the week continued and I had to come up with creative ways to adapt myself to the fact that I was training and acknowledging that in my very human way, although good at planning, that I do not have to control the world outside of myself. In fact, I was reminded in glaring reality that I cannot. Controlling it all when life is stressful is a survival mechanism in me… Yes, these little lives need routine, but there are seasons when routine gives way to longer play time at night with “mama” because she has been gone all day.  Going of mama was very hard on the mama and the little ones around her… but they figured out very quickly that papa is here and he was not going anywhere as he supports me in weeks like this to do what I do.  The village showed up to help because I needed them more than when I am at home and fully able to be fully present…  these little lives have a village of people and they are growing to love and trust the village of people.

I had an incredible week.  Incredible because I felt support and care to continue to do something I really love.  Incredible because I was working with tools being put together in the form of the training that I got to sit with facilitate and reflect on what is happening in my home right now. I got to think about some things that I could do… I got to pause and learn from others.  Incredible again because I got to see what God did through the training in the people who came.

It looks to me now like the bad time I thought it was to do this course was perhaps the very best time for me to do it…

Some participants reflecting on the last day of training

The children did not break, they do not seem to trust me less… how precious it is to come home every day of the week and have little ones run to me shouting “mama” and eager to tell me all about their day.  Beloved’s face lights up and his arms and legs move excitedly as he acknowledges me as mama.  I am incredibly humbled by the journey I am on and the way I am being taught and learning to trust rather than to control the whole process…