Living in the moment...but not defined by it!

  I was woken up out of a deep sleep tonight by the snoring of my husband next to me and an itchy leg because it is "mozzie" season and we left the window open with the light on... I started reflecting on my feelings.  I was having a happy mommy moment all by myself... you see, today has been a good day!

 ...and I laid back down to settle into sleep again and could not help reflecting on the fact that I needed to stop and take note of my mommy moment tonight for a little longer. Simply because I noticed that today I felt like a good mom?!

So often on the journey of parenting I have defined my value as a parent on a moment. As I reflect back it has been on moments that stand out and they are ones that have significance to me for various reasons. Sadly, I have often measured myself quite roughly at times because some of the moments have been really rough like:

Being told your child may never speak.

Being told your child is too "fluffy".

Being told your child is just too emotional.

Being told your child is not disciplined enough.

Being told your child will never be OK and you just have to except it.

Being told you are abusive mom by a doctor for a choice you made in the best interest of your child after reading a lot and really believing you did the right thing.

Being told your child is far to big for their boots.

Being told you are far too hard on your kids and then being told by the same person you are too soft.

Being told your child has an anxiety disorder.

Being told some things would be better if you did not work.

...

Those moments; moments that are of significance and importance to me...  the ones that hold weight because they put me into a place and sometimes a season of concern. I realise that as I reflect on the moments that come to mind tonight that they are quite hard and quite sad. What is quite sad as I reflect is that I settled in believing I was not a very good mom for a very long time because I measured my self on these moments.