I have always been the contemplative type. I like to think. Actually the times in my life when I have run into problems had everything to do with not thinking my own thoughts and applying what I was reading and learning through my own experience and listening to and adopting the thoughts of others as more important than my own. I have spent some time since Nelson Mandela’s death reflecting, reading, contemplating…
For a long time as a child I asked questions. I was very interested in the life of our domestic. I only knew her as Joyce. She loved me and was the only one who gave me answers but very carefully. Now I understand why... I was told by family to stop my questions as I would get into very hot water. I could not understand why some people had more value than others. Actually it really bothered me.
I was 13 when I witnessed with my own eyes a necklacing and as we drove by my father was telling us to stay down and not look... the fear that grips your heart is indescribable. I never really understood the weight of what was going on around me and all I remember was that I felt fear a lot and I felt hated!
When I was in standard 8 and the tender age of 15 my history teacher, who I might add was not allowed to at the time, spoke to me and answered my questions. He told us about what was going on in our land and even showed us pictures. This is where I learnt about Sharpeville and the Soweto uprising of 1976. To say I was not left confused would be a lie...
By 1990 the world was changing at a rapid pace. This is the year Nelson Mandela was released from prison and South Africa was burning. There was a lot of anxiety in the air. I could not understand why it was not ok for people to have the same rights as me... it seemed like it was the right thing to do to let Mandela go and open up all school schools to all youth. Voting yes in the referendum vote in 92 was done with conviction.
By 1994 things had moved so quickly and Nelson Mandela was president. I was ecstatic. I wanted the change. I wanted peace. I bought into the ideal of rainbow nation...
I have used my life to build into the ideal of a rainbow nation since then. I have worked hard to uphold the value of all I meet and especially to work on behalf of the OVC in this land.
I have been very moved over the last year especially. I visited parliament, read widely, visited Robbin Island and watched "Woman Waiting" at the Baxter Theater. This year reminded me of a time when I watched Sarafina and really looked at the apartheid past when I was 19... there has been so much this year that made me feel what I felt back in the 90's.
I am also the one who really started battling discouragement in the Rainbow Nation dream because of the things I was seeing and hearing... I experienced first hand the hate and fear that still grips my nations soul, like we are still emotionally stuck in the 90’s! But I was also getting so much hope and encouragement to keep on believing and moving on in the dream to keep building up my nation. I am not alone in this dream.
I did put yesterday aside to honour the life of Nelson Mandela, a man who I believe never tried to cover up his story or sugar coat the past. I believe God used him to save our land from a civil war in the 90's and I find myself again hoping that his life and his words will help guide us through the elections next year and bring shifts in this nation that we desperately still need.
I am not making him a saint or as a friend of mine accused me of doing, making him a god... but I am taking time to reflect, express thanks and recommit myself to the ideal of a free and demorcratic society where all men, women and children are valued. I will continue to restore, rebuild and repair where I can. The job that lays ahead of us is a huge one and one thing I am as sure of today as I was as sure of it in 1992, is that I want to be part of building a nation. I do not want to go back to the way it was when I was a child...
I am not building this on the Mandela Ideal alone but on the truth I have experienced by my faith that all men are valuable and deserve to be protected...
My faith guides me...
For a long time as a child I asked questions. I was very interested in the life of our domestic. I only knew her as Joyce. She loved me and was the only one who gave me answers but very carefully. Now I understand why... I was told by family to stop my questions as I would get into very hot water. I could not understand why some people had more value than others. Actually it really bothered me.
I was 13 when I witnessed with my own eyes a necklacing and as we drove by my father was telling us to stay down and not look... the fear that grips your heart is indescribable. I never really understood the weight of what was going on around me and all I remember was that I felt fear a lot and I felt hated!
When I was in standard 8 and the tender age of 15 my history teacher, who I might add was not allowed to at the time, spoke to me and answered my questions. He told us about what was going on in our land and even showed us pictures. This is where I learnt about Sharpeville and the Soweto uprising of 1976. To say I was not left confused would be a lie...
By 1990 the world was changing at a rapid pace. This is the year Nelson Mandela was released from prison and South Africa was burning. There was a lot of anxiety in the air. I could not understand why it was not ok for people to have the same rights as me... it seemed like it was the right thing to do to let Mandela go and open up all school schools to all youth. Voting yes in the referendum vote in 92 was done with conviction.
By 1994 things had moved so quickly and Nelson Mandela was president. I was ecstatic. I wanted the change. I wanted peace. I bought into the ideal of rainbow nation...
I have used my life to build into the ideal of a rainbow nation since then. I have worked hard to uphold the value of all I meet and especially to work on behalf of the OVC in this land.
I have been very moved over the last year especially. I visited parliament, read widely, visited Robbin Island and watched "Woman Waiting" at the Baxter Theater. This year reminded me of a time when I watched Sarafina and really looked at the apartheid past when I was 19... there has been so much this year that made me feel what I felt back in the 90's.
I am also the one who really started battling discouragement in the Rainbow Nation dream because of the things I was seeing and hearing... I experienced first hand the hate and fear that still grips my nations soul, like we are still emotionally stuck in the 90’s! But I was also getting so much hope and encouragement to keep on believing and moving on in the dream to keep building up my nation. I am not alone in this dream.
I did put yesterday aside to honour the life of Nelson Mandela, a man who I believe never tried to cover up his story or sugar coat the past. I believe God used him to save our land from a civil war in the 90's and I find myself again hoping that his life and his words will help guide us through the elections next year and bring shifts in this nation that we desperately still need.
I am not making him a saint or as a friend of mine accused me of doing, making him a god... but I am taking time to reflect, express thanks and recommit myself to the ideal of a free and demorcratic society where all men, women and children are valued. I will continue to restore, rebuild and repair where I can. The job that lays ahead of us is a huge one and one thing I am as sure of today as I was as sure of it in 1992, is that I want to be part of building a nation. I do not want to go back to the way it was when I was a child...
I am not building this on the Mandela Ideal alone but on the truth I have experienced by my faith that all men are valuable and deserve to be protected...
My faith guides me...
Comments
Post a Comment